Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Realizing Purpose Before Letting "The One" Slip Away

It’s funny how people pop into your life—some are just supposed to be around for a moment; either to teach you a lesson or inspire you. Others stay around for a lifetime, constantly teaching you, inspiring you, motivating you, and energizing you.

…The difficulty is discerning those people who were meant for a moment in time versus those who were meant for the entire journey…

When my boyfriend and I first broke up, I spent many weeks and months trying to convince myself that he and I weren’t “supposed” to be together and that my fantasies of “happily ever after” with him must have been a mistake, a lapse in judgment. I did not have much ammunition to use to attempt to convince myself of this truth except for the fact (or the reality I should say) that we were not together anymore. If we were no longer dating, how could he possibly be “the one” for me? 

As I was trying to persuade myself that he was not the man for me, that there were other men more compatible, that I would find another love, conflicting feelings and thoughts were creeping in telling me otherwise:

I feel guilty—guilty for even looking at another man. Why? We aren’t together anymore, yet I still have that feeling of being taken. My heart is taken. I could find 50 other guys attractive, but at the end of the day, I only see one man. One man that if he wanted to get back together, wanted to start over again, I would come running. I would, without hesitation, go running back to this man because I still love him!

It was those feelings that kept resurfacing during the 1 ½ years that we were broken up that told me that our ending hadn’t been written yet. We were still in the first act and the breakup just represented an obstacle on our journey toward resolving our personal problems. 

During the time we’ve known each other, we have been best friends. We have very similar interests; while at the same time, have differing personality traits. These seemingly “conflicting” traits actually serve as fuel to propel us toward being the best versions of ourselves—where I lack, he shines and vice versa. It’s these things that assure me he is a “lifer”—he serves a purpose for my life. A moment in time wouldn’t be enough time for him to educate and encourage me to the extent to which I know he is capable of doing.  

I truly thank God that we were able to realize our purpose in each other’s lives before we inadvertently cut off a blessing that was meant for a lifetime!


  1. Well written, and very introspective!

    Relationships, both past and present, always have a hold on us to some degree.Thus, they are sort of like gravity. And even though, throughout our life, we move in and between different relational orbits, we always feel the pull of those special people in our lives.

    Thank you for sharing your journey.



  2. I have been peeping into your blog and you speak the truth. This post relates to me in the same way; my soulmate is sticking by my side without waivering (we are separated for now) despite me thinking that there is another man out there for me, but I still come up empty handed each time when seeking "another." Our separation is serving as a notice that we ARE meant to be and to work through our troubles. He is "the one" for me and I will never think of him as anything less.