Friday, March 11, 2011

Putting the Spark Back Into Your Relationship

What’s the key to keeping the spark in a relationship? When the honeymoon phase is over, how do you ensure the passion remains?

When relationships transform from leisure into work, a shift occurs within the dynamics of the couple’s interactions where they start to become complacent and bored. They are not turned on as easily as before—they fall into the “danger zone” called status quo.

When you are in the “danger zone,” the way your man touches you or tries to tickle you, is annoying instead of cute. When you’re in the “danger zone,” the random, erratic way your man breathes when he sleeps is irritating instead of endearing. When you are in the “danger zone,” the cute little things you used to do to get your man’s attention just seem like overkill now.

The “danger zone” is ridden with eroding relationships, dissatisfied couples and jaded individuals. The “danger zone” is a place of forced acceptance of your reality.

When I come in contact with couples in the dreaded zone, I am saddened. I am saddened because here are two individuals who were once in love, but have let life get in the way of like. They have fallen into the trap of thinking lack of affection, lack of communication, lack of passion, lack of spontaneity and lack of intimacy are just the natural evolutions of relationships. But, really, those things are present in a relationship that has been taken for granted. When couples begin to assume the other will always be around or assume they don’t have to do anything extra anymore since they are married, or assume that the passion doesn’t need to be there as long as the love is there; that’s when they may begin assuming the title of “ex.” 

Couples need to start working toward a healthy relationship to enhance the love instead of letting an unhealthy relationship erode the love. 

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