Faith. How much should you believe in a relationship before you decide it’s too much? Should you continue to walk blindly toward an end goal that is not visible? When do we know when it’s time to turn around and walk the other way in order to avoid falling off the ledge?
I feel like I’m dangerously close to the ledge, but every time I go to take another step closer, I somehow have solid ground to walk on. Every time I feel like I’m at my breaking point, I get renewed energy and renewed love that enables me to continue on the journey.
I’m just not sure how long the ground will hold up—how long will I be able to endure this uncertainty. Each day, each moment in our relationship is uncertain, unknown. We know we still want to be together, but we don’t know when is it time to take the next step, when should we move to the same city, how long will our current situation last, and so on.
I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, and that scares me. BUT the fact that I’m willing to stick around to see what’s on tap for tomorrow brings him certainty. The fact that I’m willing to go with the flow and jump through any and all hoops in order to make our relationship work makes him feel secure.
I also feel secure in him but insecure in our situation; which is where the faith comes in.
I just need to balance faith with foolishness. I don’t want to believe so much in the relationship that I’m missing something right in front of my face.
Like they say, "Love is blind." I just hope this blind love doesn’t cause me to fall…