Relationships are give and take, but what if no one is giving or taking? What happens when neither person is adding anything to the relationship, but also not taking anything away? When the give and take is gone, does that mean the passion is gone?
Is it okay to be in a passionless relationship? Is lack of passion better than lack of turmoil? Or is the turmoil a signal of engagement in the relationship?
Engagement—I think that’s what every couple is looking for. Each person in the relationship wants to know that the other is committed, is engaged, is paying attention.
But I wasn’t feeling that engagement from him. I wasn’t feeling like he was paying attention. His words indicated commitment, but his actions were saying something different.
So last night I was over it. He called me talking about how his friends were coming over and how they were going to just hang out and maybe play cards or something. That was all I needed—the cards were the straw that broke the camel’s back. I just didn’t understand why he would rather hang out with his friends for the 20th night in a row, instead of spend time with me.
So I confronted him about it….
“….um….I’m confused as to why you are hanging out with your friends again instead of talking on the phone with me, when I’ve repeatedly told you that I need you to start spending more time with me…”
“Seriously” I continue. “It’s kind of ridiculous that I have to keep asking you to pay attention to me.”
He starts talking some blah, blah about how he knows and how he will do better. Then we get off the phone.
Then I start to think. The TV is on but I’m not really watching it because I’m deep in thought. I’m thinking about how I’m not benefiting at all from this relationship. I’m thinking about how he needs a wake-up call. I’m thinking about how he takes me for granted.
Then I get a text. I reach for my phone and see that the text is from him. It states simply: “Date at 8:45. Be ready.”
My heart immediately starts to flutter and all those girly feelings start flooding back. He does hear me. He does care! By some divine intervention, he sent that text just at the right moment because my thoughts were spiraling out of control and everyone knows what happens to frustrated women who are left alone with their thoughts… all types of things were about to go down!
He called promptly at 8:45 and we had our phone date. It was so nice and fun. His engagement reminded me of all the things I love about him. We have so much fun together, it’s crazy!
Hope this lasts!