Monday, May 9, 2011

Loving Him for Him

I expect too much from him—he is only human.

Yesterday, in church, I learned about loss, limits and love. Basically, the message was that every relationship either has loss, limitations and/or love.  The pastor was saying that no matter how much a person loves you, their love can only go so far. There are limitations to their love and what they can do for you. And just because a person doesn’t do everything that you want and expect them to do, that doesn’t mean they love you any less. It just means that they can’t do all that you want them to do—all humans have limitations.

The pastor went on to say that because humans are naturally limited, there are only three ways you can respond to those limitations: acknowledge them, accept them and appreciate the areas where the other person excels. 

Those three little things really opened my mind in terms of my relationship with my boyfriend. I realized that I was expecting too much out of him. He is only human, so I cannot expect him to know everything, do everything right,and satisfy me in every way. Only God can do that and we all know that he is not God, so I need to stop treating him as such. 

I’m not saying I need to lower my expectations; I just need to adjust my expectations. I need to my re-frame my expectations of him to fit our current situation. Currently, we are limited by proximity, money, jobs and time. So I need to recognize those limitations exist and not expect him to be able to overcome each and every one of those tomorrow in order to make me happy. 

If I stop focusing on his deficiencies and start focusing on his capabilities, I’m sure both he and I would be happier. 

Basically, I need to stop complaining!

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