Wednesday, May 4, 2011

That Special Kind of Attention

Attention is addictive. I crave it, yearn for it. I need it. But not just any attention, I need attention from a man. And not just any man, I need attention from my man. 

I need him to show me that he not only loves me, but he is still drawn to me and attracted to me. Attraction is a feeling that can’t be expressed in words.  Attraction isn’t forced, it can’t be made up; it just is. When my boyfriend and I are around each other, we are highly attracted to one another, but we don’t know how to show that feeling when we are apart. And that feeling is what I crave. I thirst for attention, for that feeling of attraction, but I’ve been stripped of that feeling. I’m dehydrated, but I didn’t know my thirst wasn’t being quenched until I got a taste of that attraction yesterday. 

I was dropping my car off at the car shop, and I could have sworn the car service guy was flirting with me. And as soon as I got a taste of that flirtation, my “female-ness” perked up and started grasping for more. You don’t know what you’re missing if you’re not getting it. Before yesterday, I was content to live life, go to work, talk to my boyfriend over the phone and go to bed. After yesterday, I’m not content with that anymore. I need the attention, the energy, the feeling of a man every day. My “female-ness” needs to interact with his “male-ness” so I can truly feel loved and wanted. I’ve gotten a taste of the drug and can’t turn back now. 

This is a dangerous place to be in because I’m craving something that’s not easily accessible (at least, not with the person I want the attention from). Women have been known to do crazy things for the attention of a guy and I’m not quite ready to go to that level. But, who knows, if I don’t get some attention soon, I might have to start making spontaneous trips to Atlanta where my boyfriend live—because this craving know no bounds! 

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