Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Venturing Into the Unknown

I’m confused. Seriously. I have all these feelings and emotions, and I don’t know which way they are pulling me. For every feeling and thought telling me to go in one direction, there is an equal and opposite feeling telling me to go another (I think I’ve finally figured out what Isaac Newton was talking about!). I truly don’t know what to do. Should I get back together with my ex or should I stay single?

I feel like if I’m enjoying my single life and my independence, then there needs to be a pretty compelling reason to move away from this comfortable state I’m in.  And to be honest, I haven’t discovered that reason yet! My ex is thoughtful, considerate, funny and loving, but he will be all of those things tomorrow. So I need something more than that. I need to know why I can’t live without him right now. And maybe that’s the problem—I want to know too much and there are some things you will never know. You can think things or believe things or feel things, but maybe never know them.

But right now, I’m not even sure what I think, feel or believe. The only feeling I have is confusion and for now, I’m content with that.

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