Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Letting the Man be "The Man"

Are men and women really that different? Sometimes it feels as if we are extremely different, yet other times it feels like we are eerily similar. And sometimes we are different, but not in traditional ways. Men sometimes take on the traditional “woman” role—more emotional, more sensitive, more affectionate; while women sometimes take on the traditional “man” role—less aware, less talkative, less affected. But just because men and women don’t always play their traditional roles, doesn’t mean either of them is wrong. It just means they are being their true selves and their true selves defy gender labels that society places upon us.

The rub or tension lies when both people are playing the same role. For instance, there doesn’t need to be two aggressive, take charge personalities in the relationship. There also doesn’t need to be two highly emotional personalities either. 

This is precisely the challenge I’m dealing with in my current situation. Letting him play his role and me play mine. I’m always so tempted to creep into his space, play his role, develop his “character;” which hasn’t given him much room to play his part in the relationship. It goes back to the old saying, “Let the man, be the man.” Right now, I’m trying to be the man and the woman in the relationship and I'm not doing either very well. I need to focus on playing my own role, my own part so he can feel more confident in doing what he needs to do in the relationship.

At the same time, he needs to give me the confidence that I can trust him playing that role, that I can trust him being the head of the household, that I can trust him making decisions for the both of us. Because, without that trust, lines will begin to get blurry again and neither of us will have confidence in what we bring to the relationship.   

Are men and women really that different? Whatever the answer, differences are needed in order for each individual to truly understand what they are contributing to the relationship and for each person to appreciate what the other is doing.

3 comments:

  1. SO true. My marriage has some very similar role reversals...it can be tough...

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  2. Good post. Men are women aren't that different (in my opinion), but I don't think it's good to have to like personalities get together. I think there have to be some differences in order for one to compliment the other. The term "opposites attract" applies to most couples, but it doesn't have to mean the two are completely different. It's like two puzzle pieces. If they're both the same, they won't lock into place, but if one is slightly different, they can fit into a beautiful picture. Sorry for the long comment.

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  3. Good post. Men are women aren't that different (in my opinion), but I don't think it's good to have to like personalities get together ..


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