Friday, January 21, 2011

No Question About It... This Is Love

I love him. I do. I love him with a love that I feel within my body, within my soul, within my heart. It’s crazy how much I love this man. But what’s even more extraordinary is that he loves me! I know he loves me—not because he told me, but because he didn’t have to tell me. I feel it. I feel it within my being that he truly wants to be with me and truly adores me. The feel of his love is so strong, so heavy, so lasting that I literally felt the moment it happened. 

I literally felt the moment he let himself love me fully and completely…

I let him in. I finally let him in to my world—my thoughts,  my feelings, my heart.  I let him see all of me—past, present and future. I needed him to see me. I needed him to know all of me and not just the “me” I choose to show people in the moment. So I gave him a magic wand, the secret into the window of my life.  Like the enchanted mirror Beast gave Belle, I was able to give him a secret key that unlocks the shield around my life, my heart. I was able to give him access to me through my writing. 

Through my writing he was able to see me when I was a teenager and trying to understand love. Through my writing he was able to see me as a college student searching for a man to love. Through my writing he was able to see me as a young adult trying to figure out how to love. I read to him excerpts from my journey and he got it. He finally got me. He finally understood that I’m not selfish, I’m scared. I’m not callous, I’m cautious. I’m not indignant, I’m insecure.   

As I’m reading him the story of him, I feel his love radiating through the phone.  In that moment, I changed from his helper to his partner, from his lover to his mate, from his girlfriend to his future wife. In that moment, he understood that my shield wasn’t about him; it was about me and my insecurities. Once I showed him that, I felt his love radiate fully; which, in turn, melted away my insecurities—in an instant…

I’ve never felt love from a man the way he has been pouring out his love. I truly feel blessed to have a love like this!

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