It always fascinates me when I see a couple together who, on the outside don’t look like they would have anything in common, but clearly look like they are in love. Some factor attracted these two people to each other. Some force of nature that is unidentifiable drew this man and this woman together—it’s unexplainable (I’m sure they can’t even explain it), but the fact is that they are happy.
What draws my boyfriend and I together is also sometimes a mystery. Whatever it is, it is not a singular factor. It is a myriad of factors that come together to form the attraction. Those factors usually act together as a unit to enable the attraction to either swell or diminish. However, even though they act as one force, each person seems to have two or three factors within that force that are a bit more important, a bit more influential that all the other factors.
Sometimes those qualities in “leadership” are obvious to identify and sometimes they take a moment to clearly recognize, but I believe I’ve finally identified the things that really attract me to a man and to my boyfriend, in particular.
Spontaneity, leadership and organization are all super attractive to me. A man who is willing to take control of the relationship, manages his personal business well and is able plan events and outings without involving me is my ultimate guy. I can’t tell you how attractive it was when I visited my boyfriend the last time (remember we are in a long-distance relationship) and instead of me getting off the plane and taking the train to meet him (which was our originalplan), he actually took the train to the airport himself and met me there, already bought me a train ticket for us to ride back and had a blanket with him for the train because it sometimes gets cold! When I realized he had done all of that, I felt so special and appreciated.
However, at the same time, when he doesn’t display those qualities, my attraction for him immediately lowers a bit because it makes me feel like he is taking me and our relationship for granted. Those qualities that people deem most important in determining attraction are very discriminating—they don’t allow much room for error.
I guess now that I understand what truly attracts me to men, I should probably communicate that to the man in my life…