Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Searching for Chemistry

So I’m playing the dating game and it’s not a game a like to partake in, because it goes against the “authentic” Brooke I am trying to be in this part of my life.  But I feel like there is a certain, inevitable level of game-playing that must occur in the beginning of any dating situation in order to not hurt someone’s feelings.  For instance, I went on a date with this guy the other day and it was fine and went well, but honestly I just did not feel that raw, natural chemistry. There were other things I felt, like satisfaction that he was decently good looking and confirmation that men do still offer to pay for meals. I even felt excitement that a man actually listened to what I was saying enough to make reference to those things in other conversations. It was a pleasant date.

Unfortunately, a pleasant date does not make me want to put forth the energy to actually date a guy, because I can have a “pleasant” time with all types of people. I can have a pleasant time with anyone who can hold a conversation and complement me a couple times! :-) No, that’s not enough. I need chemistry, attraction, passionate energy flowing between the two of us. And that’s something that is pretty black and white—either it is there or it is not…

So here I am on this date with this “nice guy” and I’m trying to force myself to find the “gray” area in this chemistry thing. I’m trying to trick myself into maybe being attracted to him; while, at the same time, knowing that I’m not a girl that can “fake the funk.” So as you may have guessed, I was unsuccessful at finding that “gray” area, so I was pleasant to him, maintained good conversation, then made a mad dash from the restaurant to my car in an attempt to avoid the goodnight kiss (which, thankfully, I was successful at)! 

Needless to say, I don’t see a promising future with this guy!

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