|Sometimes I feel like a mom rather than a girlfriend.|
Image by Yoshi Aka
But I can’t. I can’t do that. I am able to do that, but I shouldn’t. I need to enable you to resolve your own dilemmas, not enable you to not have to face them.
I want to help but I can’t. I can’t be your mom. You don’t want me to be, and I don’t want me to be. But sometimes I find myself playing the “mom” role because I don’t trust you to do it yourself. I know you have good intentions, but sometimes your intentions don’t translate to reality. I just want to be there to ensure the translation is correct.
But I can’t do that anymore. For the good of our relationship, I need to start being more hands off. I need to start taking a back seat and letting you steer the car. That’s the only way I’m going to start having confidence in you and you are going to have confidence in yourself.
So I will stop “helping” (if that’s what we should even consider it). I will stop treating you like a child. I will stop holding your hand. I will just stop.
I have a strong desire to help you, but I have an even stronger desire for you to help yourself. You are a very smart, competent man. I need to start allowing you to be…
Which begs the question, why do I feel the need to play the “mom” role? Do I like playing that role in relationships? Do I get some type of satisfaction by playing that role—Maybe in some weird way, I like to feel needed and in control?
Either way, I can’t put that on you. I need to find someone else to place my maternal instincts on, because I don’t think any man likes to be told what to do for long…