Challenging Times

Love is defined during challenging times. The different textures and layers of love are made more visible when a couple goes through the tough times together. It’s easy to love someone when there’s sunshine and rainbows outside; but when it’s rainy and cloudy, it’s hard enough to love yourself. So when two individuals who love each other can go through turbulent times and make it out the other end, that’s when love is truly made evident. 

The trying times brings out the character of the individuals, and the character of the relationship. The trying times brings out the flaws and the flavors, the attitudes and the adoration, the crazy and the creative. It brings out the best and worst qualities of our characters; therefore, those character traits are forced to work in overdrive to quickly work through the situation. In healthy relationships, this is where the love takes over. It’s in the dirt that beautiful flowers take form. 

The love stretches and twists to provide a covering over the shame, the guilt, the anger, the frustration, the pride.  The love is the only protection a relationship has from the outside forces and challenges. Without a strong love, the relationship is susceptible to destruction. Any weak link or crack is exposed during times of turmoil.

Love is also necessary during challenging times.  Love provides protection, but it also provides refuge. Sometimes love is the only escape from all the negativity brought on you and your relationship. When everything else around you is going wrong, you know that you can take solace in the fact that love will bring you out of the situation. 

Sometimes we baby love—try to shelter it from wear and weather. But love is strong and can endure the strain and stress you put it under. When a couple puts their love to the test, they are often surprised with the outcome—both good and bad.  Because when love is stretched and pull the core is exposed and you are able to see what is really behind the love…

Has your love been defined?...

Out of Control...But in a Good Way

You make my day—you make my day better, brighter and bigger. You have a way of seeping into my core and filling me up with joy. You permeate my being and cause me to explode with delight from the inside out.

And it’s the little things you do that cause me to feel so overwhelmed with joy.  It’s the way you send me little pictures and notes throughout the day. It’s the way you describe how beautiful I am to you. It’s the way you make me laugh—laugh so hard that I can’t control myself. Two days ago, I literally hit the car in front of me because I was laughing so hard about something you said.  My hysterical laughing while at the red light caused me to let my foot off the break a bit and roll into the car in front of me. Luckily it didn’t cause any damage to the person’s car, but this is what you do to me—you cause me to lose control. 

I feel out of control when I’m around you; like I’m operating purely on emotion as opposed to thought. I’m love drunk—I’m not making clear decisions. All the decisions I’m making are with my heart and not my head; which may be a good thing…

My heart experiences things deeper. It makes ordinary things seem superb, like a fantasy. My world when I’m with you is filled with unicorns and rainbows and care bears! Clouds in the shape of hearts are floating around in the sky and all day I just bounce around from one cushy surface to the next. 

You make my day better because I’ve finally allowed you to impact my days. I’m so glad I’ve finally opened my heart up to you because the wonder and glee I see and feel is something I would never want to escape. 

Really Feelin' the Love

When you feel loved, it makes the world look different. It makes you feel things that you’ve never felt before, see things that you’ve never seen before, hear things that you’ve never heard before. 

When you feel loved, it makes the people around you look different. It makes you see the beauty in individual people. It makes you appreciate the unique characteristics and traits of each person, makes you see the good in people versus the bad.

When you feel loved, it makes nature look different. It makes the green grass look more brilliant, the blue sky look richer and the colorful birds look more extraordinary. Love makes something natural look supernatural.

When you feel loved, it makes you look different. It makes you have a radiance about you, and energy that’s tangible. Love makes you lighter on your feet; it makes you have a sunny disposition.

When you feel loved…

I am loved and I feel wonderful. In fact, wonderful doesn’t really express the warmth, comfort and confidence I feel. I feel beautiful in my own skin. I feel like I don’t have to apologize for any of my flaws. I feel like there is perfection in my imperfection. I feel like there is always happy, peaceful music playing in my head and the world around me is singing the same tune! I feel like all the positive energy in the world is contagious and I’ve caught the virus. I’m lovesick. 

I feel loved and I’m in love with you…

My Version of Perfection

I dreamt about our wedding last night and it was so vivid and clear. I could clearly see the white dress I would be wearing. I could clearly see my mom helping me into my gown. I could clearly see myself walking down the aisle. But I could also see the tears running down my face when I realized I had forgotten a lot of little things for the wedding. I could clearly see that the gown I was supposed to wear for my reception was too big. I could clearly see that half my guest list was not in attendance…

I could clearly see that my perfect wedding was a perfect disaster. The wedding that I had planned for my whole life was going very badly—nothing was how I had wanted it to be. My dream wedding was becoming a nightmare. Until I saw you…

When I saw you, everything became okay. Every mistake, every flaw, every rough patch was made smooth. You comforted me, told me that it would be okay. You made everything that was wrong—right. In that instant, as I was standing by your side facing the minister, I knew that this was my dream.  Marrying you was my dream. All the other bells and whistles would come later, but right now you were what I needed.  I grabbed your arm and rested my head on your shoulder and breathed a sigh of relief and joy that you would always be there to comfort me and make things okay. You would always be there to catch me when I fell.

As the ceremony concluded and I became your wife, I was comforted by the thought that this was my version of perfection. Finally being united with the love of my life is as close to perfect as you can get. 

Mixed Emotions

My sunny days aren’t always sunny—there’s a cloud overhead. 

My joyful days aren’t always joyous—there a sadness that’s felt.

My loving days aren’t always loving—there is anger in my heart. 

My easy days aren’t always easy—life makes them hard. 

My beautiful days aren’t always beautiful—there is ugliness that’s real.  

My healthy days aren’t always healthy—there’s a sickness I feel. 

My stable days aren’t always stable—there’s turmoil within. 

My perfect days aren’t always perfect—there are flaws that come in.

But through the clouds, the sadness, anger and difficulty; through the ugliness, sickness, turmoil and flaws, there is still hope, still care and still adoration for you. 

The clouds last for a moment and then disperse to reveal the beautiful sunlight.  The sadness is fleeting and uncovers the deep affection and joy. The anger is momentary, but unearths the passion and love. Life is sometimes hard, but enables appreciation of the ease. The ugliness is temporary and builds the beauty that is permanent. The sickness comes on quickly and also leaves quickly to facilitate the health. The turmoil is inevitable and makes the stable days fresh. The flaws are expected, but make the perfection a goal!

The negativity that may come in from time to time only makes me more appreciative of the care, respect and admiration that are a constant cord running through the core of our relationship. 

“…Sometimes you have to go through the pain to experience the joy…”