Monday, January 10, 2011

Pretending Not to Love Him


Sometimes I feel like an actress in a play.
I want to be loved. But first I need to be open to love, and need to allow him to love me. This is easier said than done. I thought I was open. I thought I was ready. I thought I was prepared, but what I realized was that I wasn’t open, ready or prepared, because I was scared. I was scared of being hurt again, scared of being vulnerable scared of looking stupid. This fear manifested itself in many different ways—short temper, stand-offish attitude and a rude tone.  I’m inadvertently pushing him away, because I haven’t fully committed my heart and mind to the fact that not only am I ready to be loved, but there is a man ready to love me. 

Once again, I feel confused, on edge and not in control. And I know I’m only feeling these things because my mind is trying to deny what my heart already knows. I’m traveling through this world pretending not to feel a certain way about him and I’m weary. I’m weary and a bit nauseated. It truly makes me sick to my stomach hiding how I truly feel about him.  So now I’m a tired, sick actress and I just don’t want to do it anymore. I don’t want to pretend like I don’t love him. 

Love…
Such a beautiful thing,
So much it can bring
It makes your heart sing,
Makes your emotions swing,
Immunes any sting,
Sharpens your spirit’s ring.
It’s much deeper than a fling;
Love gives your body wings!

42 comments:

  1. I dated a guy for about 5 months, I totally feel happy whenever i am with him. We got along great never fought but one night, i had much drink on me and then got a little jealous and then embarrassed him in front of his female friends, Because of that he broke up with me right there. For the first week i tried to do everything in my power to get him back but all were in veil. Till a friend introduce me to this great man called Dr.Eziza of ezizaoguntemple@gmail.com I was surprise when Dr.Eziza told me that my lover will come back to me within 3 days. But the good news is that my lover is really back to me now all thanks so much Contact Dr.Eziza of ezizaoguntemple@gmail.com or +2348058176289

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  27. My Husband was so smooth at hiding his infidelity so I had no proof for months, I was referred to some Private investigator  and decided to give him a try.. the result was incredible because all my cheating husband's text messages, whatsapp, facebook and even phone conversations was wired directly to my cellphone. (worldcyberhackers@gmail.com ) Mr James helped me put a round-the-clock monitoring on him and I got concrete evidence and gave it to my lawyer..if your husband is an expert at hiding his cheating adventures contact Mr James via Email


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  29. my name is brandy.
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