Finding the Right Balance of Togetherness

A little "me" time is good for the soul.

My boyfriend makes me happy–genuinely. I enjoy his company and have a great time when I’m around him. I’m a better version of myself when I’m around him.

But, what I’m also realizing is that I enjoy my own company too. I like being alone at times and I value my “me” time. 

So yesterday when he left to go back to his home, I was filled with different emotions. I was sad to see him go; sad to not have my partner in crime; sad to not have him in the bed next to me. But I was also relieved. I was relieved that I would be able to spend my evenings the way I wanted to, and I didn’t have to think about anyone else or cater to anyone else. I could just do me.

By being in a long-distance relationship, we’ve been naturally able to balance the together time versus the “me” time. In fact, we’ve probably had way too much “me” time than what’s necessary.  However, if we were ever to live in the same city, it will be important for us to continue to invest in the things we like to do by ourselves.  We don’t have to be up under each other every single night; we can spend some evenings alone. 

I actually think carving in time to be by ourselves would be good for the relationship. It will allow us time to miss each other and to appreciate each other.

Because that’s exactly what’s happening now—I miss him. When he first left, I was relieved; but that relief quickly turned into loneliness. I was lonely because I didn’t have someone to eat dinner with. I didn’t have someone to laugh at TV shows with. I didn’t have someone to cuddle in the bed with...besides my teddy bear.

So, if I had it my way, my boyfriend would live in the same city as me, but we would have two nights a week that we would be “off duty.” Meaning, he would do his thing and I would do mine. 

So I that’s the plan!...but first I got to get him to move to my city…because right now, all this alone time is killing me!