Stability

I’ve noticed that relationships require a certain level of stability in order to last.  A relationship that is constantly changing, constantly adapting, constantly presenting new questions and new issues usually falls apart.
 

Some relationships can’t even take infrequent changes.  I heard of so many cases where a couple was doing fine, but as soon as they got married, the relationship crumbled.  Or two people who were dating exclusively, as soon as they put a title on it, they broke up.  It’s like they let the commitment associated with marriage or with being “boyfriend and girlfriend” put pressure on them and the relationship.  So it was really the pressure of the change, not the change itself that formed the crack in the relationship.

So many things can add pressure to a relationship: having babies, not having babies, changing jobs, losing jobs, relocating, death in the family, illness in the family, even going through a significant weight gain or weight loss.  Humans need a certain level of certainty, so when change happens, we get anxious because we don’t know how to live in this new environment.  We become very uncomfortable and that level of discomfort makes us very conscious of every element of the relationship—the good, the bad, and the crazy people!

That’s what I’m most nervous about when I think of my long-distance boyfriend and I moving to the same city—the pressure of it causing our relationship to deteriorate.  The romantic in me says that love can conquer all and that if we’ve dated for this long, nothing can break us now.  But the realist in me says nothing is guaranteed and in matters of the heart, things don’t always make sense. 

But the alternative is we don’t ever make a change; and that’s also not realistic.  So I’m going to have to take a risk…make a change…take the plunge…bite the bullet…and whatever other cliché I can insert here.

I guess if my relationship does fall apart, I can’t say that I didn’t take a risk…